Peahen Plunderer

Hi plunderer,
How are you? Hope this letter finds you in the poorest of health. I often wonder what makes your community worse than the British who plundered and robbed India of its wealth and possession of precious antiques. The British lived luxurious and lavish lives in their home land, but explored uncharted territory and robbed the things which they didn’t have in their kitty. No one can forget the unreasonable confiscation of the precious peacock throne by those whites. But your community is no different from those obnoxious creatures my brother! Oh I am sorry, you are not my brother. At least not till you vote for republicans or democrats and pay income tax in dollars. You study in expensive and high quality schools during the days in your native land where character and the ability to learn are embodied in you. I always feel education not only makes us learn, but also teach us how to learn. You utilize the nation’s best schooling and college resources to the maximum and acquire colossal knowledge about all the technologies possible on this earth. Then one fine day you write an exam which consists of few juvenile math’s problems or should I say math; and synonyms of few complex unheard words in English which are seldom used in life. You get admits from various mediocre universities across the globe which claim to be the best, but the fact is there is nothing unique about them other than the bizarre names that they possess. Needless to say, you have a blast in your college life which revolves around parties and girls. Don’t think I am being jealous here! In fact don’t have that doubt in your mind, because I am extremely jealous and I am fuming right now as I write these words on paper. You experience all sorts of physical comforts that a foreign culture can offer you (all sorts of physical comfort which make you stand up and applaud).but suddenly, seriousness strikes your mind which has made it numb like anesthesia does. You decide to get married and be a committed guy in future. You seek for traditional homely goddesses after having dated women worse than sex workers. Good for you mate! Bravo! But suddenly you do something strikingly similar to the white (bad words in English) did few centuries ago, only difference being the gender of the product being robbed. You strip away the peahen from its native land and fly away with happiness. Firstly, you send pictures of sight seeing places in USA where you give the same pose in different postures. Then, you impress the peahen by chatting with her online and bragging about the life in USA , being how cool it is to be mocked about and ridiculed by Americans, how awesome it is to have mortgages five times your pay check etc . you don’t have to impress the peahen’s family as they are on cloud nine in the first place , as soon as they know that their son in outlaw! Sorry son in law is an American by birth in India. It is really ironical that you turn to your native land for some thing that you need badly, but turn your backs to it when the land needs you (does it need you? I don’t think so. Just added the line for some cheesy statements). It is really annoying that your community keeps snatching away our property. There is a concept called sons of the soil, I guess you would have heard about it; which has certain quota for the natives. I guess we have come to a situation where we have to instill quota system in our matrimonial network which is bigger than any other enterprise in the world. It is extremely disheartening to see pretty girls in Anna international airports. I would prefer seeing them in railway stations filled with stink and dirt. But we are humans, we will never curse you . we will never wish for the plane in which the couple travel to crash. We will not wish for a divorce between the pair before the first night (for the girl! mind you). We will just hope you find someone very traditional in USA.(maybe an afro Brahmin or something like that ).
Don’t take care.
Hopefully never yours,
Piteous peacock